What I Learned from My Proposal …

Brittny Drye Founder + Editor-in-Chief of Love Inc. Magazine | On-Air Wedding Expert | LGBTQ+ Inclusivity in the Wedding Industry

I've worked in wedding media for almost four years now and have read (and written) my fair share of engagement stories. From flash mobs to family-featured engagements, secret getaways to proposals disguised as photo shoots, being inundated with all of these amazing stories makes it difficult to not envision my own engagement.

So when my partner of three-and-a-half years and I decided to go ring shopping, I knew that it was on the horizon. “It would be amazing if he could plan a surprise engagement party immediately following,” I started informing my closest friends, in case he asked for their advice. And, as a particularly romantic vacation neared, I confessed to a friend that I hoped he wouldn't do it during our international trip because “I'd want to celebrate with everyone afterwards.”

Luckily, said friend put me in my place, and brought my perspective back to Earth. “But, it's not about getting instant gratification from friends … it's about you two.” And she was so right. In our world of social media, we rush to change our Facebook status and relish in how many “Likes” we receive from our selfies and I, admittedly, had made the mistake of letting that desire take over what was truly important: our love and the huge commitment we would potentially soon make.

It was the proverbial slap in the face that I very much needed (and deserved) and it couldn't have come at a better time. A few days later, after Love Inc.'s second issue launched, we jetsetted to the gorgeous country of Croatia.

We hiked cliffs, we dipped our toes into the cool Mediterranean waters, we explored wine country and dined al fresco with Dubrovnik's magnificent city walls and the Adriatic Sea as our backdrop. It was hands-down the most romantic and magical experience that I have ever had. One night, while sipping wine back at the Airbnb apartment we rented, discussing the amazing day and our relationship, the love of my life got down on bended knee and asked me to marry him. There was nothing particularly picturesque about it, but it was a moment that was driven by pure, raw emotion — not scenery or production. It was him and I, and that was all we needed.

We shared the news with only our parents and siblings that night and spent the next five days basking in the engagement aftermath. Admittedly, by the time our plane landed back home, I was itching to tell the world but there was certainly something special about taking the time to enjoy this major life moment, just the two of us.

Of course, I can never get enough of proposals with a bit of pomp and circumstance thrown in, but if my now-fiancĆ© (I love saying that!) would have done that, it wouldn't have felt right. The engagement — and wedding — should be a reflection of the couple, whether it's professing your love through song and dance, integrating family members into the proposal, or, like us, enjoying an intimate moment together. And as we begin the wedding planning process, you can be sure that I won't lose sight of that again.

brittny-drye-love-inc

Brittny Drye is the founder and editor-in-chief of Love Inc. magazine. A fierce cheerleader for marriage equality, she launched loveincmag.com in 2013 as a way to to celebrate both straight and same-sex love, equally. She lives in New York City with her fiancĆ© and their cat, Scout.

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Founder + Editor-in-Chief of Love Inc. Magazine | On-Air Wedding Expert | LGBTQ+ Inclusivity in the Wedding Industry
  1. How funny that you were trying to plant seeds to plan your own proposal! I know that’s not the takeaway here but that did give me a chuckle.

    I mean, when you go ring shopping together it’s pretty much a given that you know it’s coming. Most ladies don’t want to be surprised, they want to know when it’s coming. Many of the couples I’ve worked with recently seemed to make the decision to get married together.

    My fella had me (impatiently) waiting for 5.5 years before planning a surprise proposal in Charleston, SC, one of our most favorite places. I was completely and utterly clueless about this grand scheme of his but everything was MAGICAL!

    Back then I was into social media sharing hardcore and I thought I’d be chomping at the bit to share the news and show off my custom designed ring, but I didn’t. We called our families and that was it until I shared the news a week later in a blog post! (http://blog.wayfaringwanderer.com/2011/12/stealthy-surprise-that-i-didnt-see.html)

    We were engaged on 11.11.11 and we finally tied the knot during our FLASH WEDDING just last month on June 29th! Our shindig was planned in under 3 weeks!

    One thing that helped keep me in check during the accelerated planning process was to remind myself that all that mattered was that Cody and I would be married at the end of the day, everything else was a BONUS! šŸ™‚

    Congratulations on your engagement! Enjoy this time!

  2. Congrats on your engagement! I’m so happy to have read this post. I too am newly engaged in May, and my fiancĆ© planned a night that was so very truly “us”! No, it didn’t involve a special fireworks show or anything else over the top, but it was truly special as he planned every last detail to be about the two of us and our love story, together. Not with everyone else. He even planned the proposal in advance of a pre-planned trip home to NJ for Mother’s day so we could celebrate with my family. Everything about the proposal and the week following was amazing. I wouldn’t change a thing!

  3. Great perspective, Brittny. I love that you did a post on this and it’s so true! It’s wonderful to bring it down to the heart of the matter, which I know first-hand and support truly for however much I wish I was there to celebrate with you immediately! We’ll celebrate for months to come regardless….you + Eric make me smile!!! Mwah!!! xo

  4. OH my goodness, I don’t know how I didn’t know about this, but YAY CONGRATS!!! And I love that you two were able to enjoy the newly engaged excitement by yourselves for a bit. Besides- you didn’t have to answer all of the questions that I’m sure everyone is already asking you! Congrats girl!! šŸ™‚

  5. Wow, thank you so much for sharing your adorable story Brittny! I agree with every word in this post. Sometimes we tend to get so caught up in all of our technology and forget to take a step back and really take everything in.

    xx,
    Loverly

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