Is a first look right for you? Let’s break down the emotional, logistical, and photographic pros and cons to help you decide if this fits your vision.
When planning your wedding, the first look is one of those topics that often pops up during your discussions with your partner and photographer. Traditionally speaking, couples don’t see each other until the moment one walks down the aisle. But these days, more and more couples are opting to steal a private moment together before the ceremony.
The Emotional Impact of a First Look
Pros:
- A Private Moment Together:
Wedding days can be a whirlwind of activity, and you might not get much time alone with your partner. A first look offers a rare opportunity to share a private moment before the day gets busy. Many couples find this moment incredibly emotional and grounding. You get to see each other in your wedding attire, soak in the reality of the day, and connect without a crowd of eyes on you. - Calm the Nerves:
Let’s be honest—weddings can be nerve-wracking! Seeing your partner before the ceremony can ease some of those jitters. Instead of feeling anxious, you might find yourself more relaxed, excited, and ready to take on the day together. - More Authentic Reactions:
With just the two of you (and maybe a photographer), a first look allows for more genuine, unfiltered reactions. There’s no pressure to hold back emotions, and many couples treasure the raw, heartfelt reactions captured during this time. “I am very much in the camp of having a first look,” says Trista Hidalgo of Trista Maja Photography. “As a photographer, I think that you get the real emotions of the couple when they are by themselves. Since the wedding really is about the the couple, I think it’s a special moment for the two of them to have.”
Cons:
- Loss of the Aisle Moment:
For some, there’s nothing like the anticipation and emotion of seeing each other for the first time as one of you walks down the aisle. If you’ve dreamed of that traditional moment, a first look might take away some of that magic. The aisle moment is steeped in tradition, and skipping it could feel like a missed opportunity for an epic reveal. - Overwhelmed with Emotions:
While a first look can be a beautiful, emotional moment, it can also be a lot to handle. Some couples find that the intensity of the moment adds to their nerves rather than easing them. If you’re someone who prefers to keep emotions in check, this might not be the best option.
The Logistical Side of a First Look
Pros:
- More Time for Photos:
One of the biggest logistical benefits of a first look is the ability to take more photos before the ceremony. This means you can get a lot of the formal shots out of the way early, allowing you to enjoy cocktail hour and your reception without feeling rushed. - Smooth Timeline:
A first look can lead to a smoother wedding day timeline. With many of your photos done ahead of time, there’s less need for an extended break between the ceremony and reception. “I think it helps out the timeline. Being able to have the first look, then couple's portraits, then wedding party, then family all done before the ceremony makes life so much easier,” notes Hidalgo. Your guests won’t be left waiting, and you can spend more time mingling and celebrating. - Weather Flexibility:
If you’re worried about unpredictable weather, a first look gives you the flexibility to take photos earlier in the day, potentially avoiding any rain or harsh sunlight that might come later. This can be a game-changer, especially for outdoor weddings.
Cons:
- Earlier Start Time:
To fit in a first look and pre-ceremony photos, you’ll need to start your day earlier. This could mean a very early wake-up call for hair, makeup, and getting dressed. If you’re not a morning person or prefer a leisurely start to your day, this could be a downside. - Less Time for Touch-Ups:
With a first look, your hair, makeup, and outfits need to be camera-ready earlier in the day, and they’ll need to stay perfect through the ceremony and reception. While touch-ups are always possible, the longer gap between getting ready and the ceremony might mean more maintenance is needed.
The Photographic Benefits (and Drawbacks)
Pros:
- More Creative Freedom:
A first look allows your photographer to get creative with location and lighting. Without the time constraints of a post-ceremony photo session, they can take you to multiple locations or experiment with different angles and compositions. The result? Stunning, diverse photos that capture the essence of your day. - Natural Light Advantage:
If your ceremony is later in the day, a first look allows for photos in the best natural light. Midday or afternoon light can be harsh, but a skilled photographer can use the earlier light to create soft, romantic images that are truly flattering. - No Rush, Just Romance:
Without the pressure of a tight timeline between ceremony and reception, a first look allows for a relaxed, unhurried photo session. You and your partner can take your time, enjoy the moment, and let your love shine through in the photos.
Cons:
- Duplicated Moments:
Some photographers might find it challenging to capture a genuine reaction during both the first look and the aisle moment. If you’re doing both, you might end up with similar shots, which could feel repetitive in your wedding album. - Staged Feel:
While the intention behind a first look is to create an authentic moment, some couples worry it might feel a bit staged or forced. If you’re someone who prefers candid moments, you might be concerned that the first look won’t feel as natural as seeing each other for the first time during the ceremony.
Personal Considerations for Your First Look
While the emotional, logistical, and photographic factors are important, the decision to have a first look ultimately comes down to your personal preferences and what feels right for you and your partner.
1. Your Vision for the Day:
Think about how you envision your wedding day. Do you want it to be a day filled with intimate, private moments, or are you more focused on the big, traditional milestones? If you’re leaning towards a more modern, personalized experience, a first look might fit perfectly. But if you’re all about tradition, you might prefer to stick with the classic aisle reveal.
2. Your Relationship Dynamics:
Every couple is different, and your decision should reflect who you are as a duo. Are you the type of couple who finds comfort in being together in stressful moments, or do you thrive on the excitement of anticipation? If you know seeing each other before the ceremony will calm your nerves and help you be more present, a first look could be the right choice.
3. Your Photographer’s Style:
Have a conversation with your photographer about their experience with first looks. Some photographers are masters at capturing the magic of a first look, while others might excel at documenting the emotion of the aisle moment. Understanding your photographer’s style can help you decide what will result in the best photos for your day.
4. Timing of Your Ceremony:
The time of your ceremony can also play a role. If you’re having an evening ceremony, a first look ensures you get daylight photos. On the other hand, if your ceremony is early in the day, you might have plenty of time for photos afterward, making it less necessary.
In Conclusion: To First Look or Not to First Look?
Truthfully, there's no right or wrong answer—it’s all about what feels best for you. Whether you choose to have a first look or stick with the traditional aisle reveal, the most important thing is that your wedding day reflects your love story.
A first look can offer a beautiful, intimate moment that sets the tone for the day, providing emotional comfort and logistical benefits. But if you’re all about the drama and excitement of that traditional aisle moment, skipping might be the better choice for you.
Ultimately, your wedding day is about you and your partner, and how you choose to see each other for the first time should be a reflection of your relationship, your personalities, and your shared vision for your big day.
So take your time, talk it over, and make the choice that feels right for you. Whether it’s a first look or a classic aisle moment, your wedding will be beautiful, emotional, and uniquely yours.
Cover photo from Sadie and Jody's Stylish Elopement; Photo 1 by Maya Lovro Photography from Peter and Bailey's Wedding; Photo 2 by Captured by Candace Photography from Wayne and Nikki's Beach Wedding;
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