While a strong portfolio and good references are essential, sometimes a vendor isn’t the right fit even if they seem qualified on paper. Here are some key signs that a wedding vendor may not be the right match for you, and when you should consider looking elsewhere.
Undoubtedly, hiring wedding vendors is one of the most critical parts of planning your big day. These are the professionals who will bring your vision to life, and a bad match can lead to significant stress and disappointment.
When I was planning my wedding celebrations last year, I took the extra effort to make sure I was hiring the right vendors. And on my special day, it made all the difference. The vendors went above and beyond their responsibilities to ensure that the day went off smoothly. I truly couldn’t have pulled it off without them.
To help you find the right professionals and spot the red flags for when a vendor isn’t right for you, we consulted leading wedding experts. Here is their best advice.
Red Flag #1: They Don't Actually Listen
The right vendor will be your partner in bringing your vision to life. If they aren’t paying attention to what you want, they’re not right for you.
“One major red flag is when a vendor doesn’t ask about your vision or values. If they’re not taking the time to understand who you are as a couple, especially for LGBTQ+ clients, that’s a sign they may default to cookie-cutter approaches,” mention Charles Guinto and Leo Cabal of The Lounge Booth. “For us, it’s not just about capturing beautiful moments, it’s about making every guest feel seen and celebrated.”
A wedding professional who isn’t taking the effort to get to know you, your values, and your vision isn’t going to be able to deliver a service that showcases your personality.
“One of the most telling signs that a wedding vendor may not be the right fit is when they talk more than they listen,” adds Manvi Gandotra, founder and creative director of 1Plus1 Studio. “The best vendor relationships are rooted in curiosity and connection. If a vendor isn’t taking the time to understand your story, your preferences, and what matters most to you, chances are they’re more focused on selling a service than co-creating something personal.”
Red Flag #2: You Feel Uncomfortable During Your Meeting
Meeting them in person or arranging video calls is a great way to connect with the vendor. During your meetings, pay attention to how they respond to your questions and concerns, particularly the sensitive ones.
“If your vendor looks good on paper, your next step is setting up a video call to see how they communicate and how they approach the parts of the wedding day that give you the most anxiety,” states Natalia Zuk, co-owner of Lilac Studios. “Don’t be afraid to ask specific questions, especially around LGBTQ+ representation and traditions: how they respond will tell you a lot. If they seem awkward, rigid, or avoid the topic entirely, that's a strong sign they may not be the right fit.”
Moreover, share crucial information about your family dynamics, your vision, and your likes and dislikes. Notice how the vendor reacts. This will tell you a lot about them.
“Since your vendors will be by your side the entire day, it’s important that you feel safe and comfortable with their energy by getting to know them prior via phone call. Assessing their tone and overall vibe sounds basic, but it should not be underestimated!” remarks Nicole Back, photographer, videographer, and founder of Nicole & Photo. “Don’t be afraid to ask hard questions or share personal information surrounding family dynamics that might be crucial for your day.”
Red Flag #3: Their Inclusivity Feels Superficial
If you have to constantly educate the professional on your identity, or if they use gendered language, and/or keep saying “bride and groom” when talking about a same-sex couple, they’re not a good fit.
“If you’re feeling the need to educate constantly, that could be a red flag,” says Anna Laurente, director of sales and catering at The Portofino Hotel & Marina. “Say you find yourself frequently explaining basic LGBTQ terms, or correcting assumptions about your relationship, it’s emotional labor you shouldn’t have to do. The right vendor will already have inclusive practices in place—and if they don’t, it’s a sign they’re not truly prepared to support your day.”
Additionally, an inclusive wedding professional integrates their values into their business all year, not just during Pride Month.
Kimberly Sisti, owner and lead planner at SISTI & CO., adds: “Sometimes, vendors only feature LGBTQ+ content during Pride Month. ‘Rainbow washing’ is a red flag. If their social media or website only highlights LGBTQ+ couples in June and is otherwise devoid of such representation, their commitment to inclusivity may be superficial.”
Red Flag #4: They Talk Badly About Other Vendors
A successful wedding day requires teamwork, and a wedding professional who speaks negatively about other wedding professionals may signal an unaccommodating or competitive personality that could disrupt your day.
“A key sign that a wedding vendor may not be the right match is if they speak negatively about other vendors to make a sale,” says Lauren Tankersley, CEO at 828 Venue Management Company. “This behavior reflects poorly on their professionalism and may signal difficulties in collaborating with your other vendors. Your vendor team must work well together to create a smooth, joyful experience.”
Red Flag #5: You Simply Don't Vibe with Them
Lastly, go with your gut feeling. The team you hire for your wedding celebrations should be individuals you genuinely like and whose values align with your own.
“Any vendor who doesn’t match your vibe is probably not the best choice for you,” concludes Laura Brezel, president and planner at O Frabjous Day Events. “Ideally, you’ll like all the people you’ll be seeing quite a bit on your wedding day, such as your planner, photographer, and videographer, but the rest of your vendors—who you may work with for more than a year—should be people you respect and whose businesses you are proud to support. Make sure you are working with people who support your wedding and share your values!”
Written by Pallavi Mehra | Cover photo by Lensy Michelle
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