We reached out to top wedding experts to learn about the ins and outs of planning a wedding where guests arrive thinking it's a different event, allowing couples to bypass traditional stress and delight loved ones with an unexpected “I do.”
In recent months, I’ve noticed a trend on social media that’s become increasingly popular, and that’s surprise weddings. A surprise wedding is exactly what you think it is: a couple invites their closest friends and family to a party, and they find themselves at the couple’s nuptials.
On social media, these surprise weddings seem spontaneous and fun. However, as a wedding writer, I know that these types of weddings involve a lot of planning and organization, sometimes even more than traditional wedding celebrations.
If you’re thinking about hosting a surprise wedding or are just curious to learn more, read on. We rounded up some expert-approved tips to have a seamless and joyful surprise wedding.
Thoughtfully Choose Your Cover Story
The first step of planning a surprise wedding is to choose a believable cover story, such as your engagement or a milestone birthday, to get all your close family and friends to attend.
“Create a ‘fake event' that matches the dress code for the secret wedding, such as an engagement party. Send invitations and request RSVPs as if it were a normal celebration, so you can plan seating and timing without raising suspicion,” says Aylen Terrazas, catering manager at The Plaza Hotel Pioneer Park. “Guests will arrive expecting to congratulate you on their engagement, only to be surprised when you say, ‘I do.’ This not only relieves your stress but also creates a joyful, memorable moment for everyone.”
Experts suggest choosing a cover story that matches the style of your actual event and provides a big enough reason for your loved ones to not want to miss it. “I’ve found that it works best if you hide the surprise in plain sight, masquerading it as a milestone birthday party or just a big holiday celebration. That way, guests still come ready to have a good time and are dressed to impress,” adds Michael Coombs, DJ at Michael Coombs Entertainment.
Carefully Pick the Surprise Wedding Venue and Your Vendors
Once you’ve chosen the cover story, pick a venue that’s a bit mysterious and doesn’t give away the surprise right away. For instance, if you’ve always wanted to get married at The Plaza Hotel in New York City and your fake engagement or birthday party is happening at The Plaza Hotel, it’s a big giveaway, and your guests could become suspicious.
“A successful surprise wedding starts with choosing the right type of venue. Spaces with a natural sense of arrival, such as boutique hotels or intimate restaurants, allow guests to feel welcomed without needing full context immediately. When the setting already feels intentional and elevated, the surprise unfolds seamlessly,” declares Anastasia Emerson, area social and events director of sales for Kennebunkport Resort Collection.
Meticulously Plan the Logistics and Flow of Events
Hosting a surprise wedding still includes all the traditional wedding planning and logistics, including getting a marriage license and hiring your vendors.
“A surprise wedding is, at its heart, about joy. When thoughtfully planned, the unexpected becomes exhilarating. Guests arrive curious and leave emotional, having shared a moment they’ll talk about for years,” mentions Bryan Rafanelli, CEO and chief creative officer of Rafanelli Events. “The key is designing the experience, so the surprise unfolds naturally, allowing excitement and emotion to build rather than disrupt the flow of the celebration.”
Additionally, wedding planners recommend carefully planning the guest experience and the flow of events, including when the ceremony will take place, as well as the surprise moment. “Take some time to really consider when the wedding will take place during the gathering. The longer you wait to start, the more likely some of the guests will start to figure out what is going on,” says Thomas Waters, owner and event planner at The Renaissance. “Work with your vendor team to consider an appropriate transition time, whether it’s with the help of a toast, musical interlude, or literally right as guests walk in the door.”
Make It Your Own: Consider Having a Host
Wedding experts recommend carefully thinking about how you would like to reveal the big surprise. They recommend picking a guest who will announce the surprise so guests aren’t puzzled. Moreover, don’t forget to get your photographers and videographers to document the big reveal.
“Choose a host or a trusted person who knows the full plan and can control the flow of the event and guide the guests or stall them if needed,” says Zara Alina of Zara Alina Photography. “When it's time for the reveal, the host can smoothly shift the tone with a speech or toast that transitions into the ceremony, so it feels intentional and exciting rather than confusing.”
Managing Your VIP Circle
While planning your surprise, experts suggest telling your nearest and dearest about the wedding so that they will definitely be there and won’t feel hurt or be disappointed that they weren’t in on the surprise.
“A surprise wedding is the ultimate power move. Pure joy, zero pressure, and maximum impact! However, one important consideration with a surprise wedding is guest availability. When an invitation reads as a birthday or engagement party, some of your nearest and dearest may not prioritize time off or travel the way they would for a wedding,” says wedding planner Jove Meyer. “If certain people must be present, this is worth weighing carefully as part of the planning conversation and maybe sharing the surprise with them to ensure they show up to celebrate with you!”
A Good Middle Ground: A Surprise Venue
If you don’t want to go all the way and host a surprise wedding, but still want to incorporate an element of surprise, experts suggest telling your guests that it’s your wedding but leaving the venue a mystery.
“I think it’s far less stressful and way more fun if you tell your guests it’s a wedding but don’t tell them where it is or give them any details. We did a surprise ceremony this way recently, and it went fabulously,” concludes McKenzi Taylor, founder of Cactus Collective Weddings. “The couple and their friends came over from England, stayed together on the Vegas Strip, and on the wedding day boarded a private coach for the hour-long ride with the surprise destination of Eldorado Canyon Ghost Town, where the ceremony was officiated by an Elvis lookalike in a rustic wooden chapel!”
Photos by Summer Rayne Photography from Radhika and Robert's Surprise Wedding
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