Planning a wedding is very exciting, but it can also be financially overwhelming. To help navigate the financial complexities, we sat down with Kerrie Carden, a visionary financial planner and proud member of the LGBTQ+ community. Kerrie, who is the founder at Equip Advisory, is dedicated to supporting BIPOC, queer, and trans professionals, providing specialized services that focus on equity, social justice, and ethical decision-making. Here are some invaluable tips she shared for properly budgeting for your wedding.
Start with Your Guiding Principle
Before diving into the numbers, Kerrie recommends couples reflect on what’s most important to them for their wedding. “My wife and I called it our guiding principle,” she says. “When you reflect on your wedding day, what do you hope to feel? What do you hope your guests feel?” This principle will help with numerous decisions throughout the process, including whether you're willing to go into debt for your wedding or prefer multiple smaller events over one big event.
Creating a Realistic Budget
Creating a realistic budget that aligns with your financial goals and priorities involves categorizing your needs and wants. “Starting with the needs, assess how that total amount compares to what money you have available to pay for the wedding,” Kerrie advises. “Then add in the wants and see how that changes the total. Do you feel good about spending that amount of money for your wedding? Does spending that amount align with your guiding principle?”
If the total is more than you have available, discuss ways to fill the gap, such as borrowing money, asking for contributions from family and friends, delaying the wedding, or earning extra money. It's crucial to ensure that both partners feel good about the chosen method to find additional money.
Tools and Resources for Tracking Expenses
Staying organized is key to managing wedding expenses. Kerrie suggests choosing a tool that works well for both partners. “The harder it feels to use the tool, the less likely you'll want to use and update it,” she notes. Options range from shared notes to more robust solutions like spreadsheets or project management apps like Trello or Asana. If you already have a budgeting tool, add a category for wedding expenses to track them efficiently.
Avoiding Financial Pitfalls
Weddings are a significant industry, and there are many opportunities for “scope creep.” “Everyone you know and love will have opinions about the wedding,” Kerrie says. “Hold on to that guiding principle so you don't find yourself making purchases and commitments that individually sound good but don't match your overall vision.” If you are accepting financial help from loved ones, have a candid conversation about what that means for both parties.
Planning for Unexpected Expenses
Budgeting for unexpected expenses is similar to budgeting for a construction project. Kerrie recommends planning an unexpected fund of 15-20% of your planned budget. “As you track, note when you're using the unexpected fund versus the planned budget,” she advises.
Handling Joint Finances
Handling joint finances requires candid conversations about values, concerns, and goals. Whether you choose to fully merge finances or keep them mostly separate with proportional splits on shared items, the key is honesty and finding an appropriate compromise. Pre-nuptial agreements and contracts can help clarify and build trust.
Avoiding Debt While Creating a Memorable Celebration
Kerrie emphasizes that the cost of the wedding isn't what makes it special. “The experience that you, your partner, and your guests have celebrating your union is paramount,” she says. Focus on what will help you feel present and enjoy the moment without feeling pressured to spend beyond your means.
Unique Considerations for LGBTQ+ Couples
LGBTQ+ couples may face additional challenges, such as discrimination from vendors. Kerrie urges couples to find vendors who treat them with respect and care. “Leverage your community,” she suggests. “Ask other queer folks for recommendations of vendors and services they like. Capitalism means that you get to choose where you spend your money. Don't hesitate to skip giving your money to any business that doesn't treat you and your partner the way you deserve to be treated.”
Navigating Financial Complexities Related to Marriage Equality
Giving yourselves time to find the right vendors and utilizing your personal referral networks can help navigate potential financial complexities. Kerrie’s number one tip is to focus on the relationship you're investing in and committing to, rather than putting too much pressure on the wedding day itself.
Kerrie became a financial planner after recognizing the imbalance in financial systems that often leave marginalized communities behind. Her biggest wins come from seeing the relief and understanding on clients' faces after a session. Her future goals include conducting more workshops and building an apprenticeship program to bring BIPOC, queer, and trans folks into financial services.
Photo credit: Kampus Production
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