We consulted leading wedding specialists for essential etiquette and practical advice for guests attending a multi-day Indian wedding. Here’s their best advice.
What’s not to love about Indian weddings? They typically include several days of events featuring elaborate decor, lively music, choreographed Bollywood dances, family-centric traditions, and oh-so-delectable food.
If you’re invited to an Indian wedding and are overwhelmed with all the events and outfit options, read on. Save this guide to successfully navigate the dress codes and guest etiquette at Indian wedding celebrations.
What Are The Different Indian Wedding Functions
Indian weddings are usually multi-day celebrations, which could involve the following events:
Haldi Ceremony: This is a fun pre-wedding event, where family and friends apply a turmeric paste to the couple for good luck.
Mehendi: This is also a lively pre-wedding ritual in which henna is applied to guests’ hands and feet.
Sangeet: A sangeet is a musical night of dance, choreographed performances, and celebration.
Wedding Ceremony: The wedding ceremony is the heart of the celebration and involves diverse rituals such as a vow exchange, walking around the sacred fire (Pheras), or signing of the marriage contract (Nikah Nama).
What To Wear At An Indian Wedding
As an Indian-origin writer about weddings, I often get asked about what to wear at Indian weddings. I always tell people to first learn about the different Indian outfit options before deciding what to wear for each event.
Aimee Monihan, founder and creative director of Destination Occasions, agrees. According to her, it’s advisable to know the names and differences of clothing to choose for the events. “A lehenga is a separate full-length, wide skirt with a small blouse and a scarf called a dupatta, an anarkali is a full dress, similar to an Indian maxi dress, it’s an all-in-one, floor-length gown with a wide skirt, a salwar kameez is a looser-fitting tunic top (kameez) paired with trousers (salwar), which can range from loose to tighter styles. For a Sangeet, a celebration before the wedding that involves lots of dancing, you want to wear something comfortable that allows you to dance easily. This is a night when you may want to avoid wearing a sari, which consists of a long piece of thin cloth wrapped around the body, as it’s more restrictive,” Monihan adds.
Once you have learned about the various Indian outfits, you can choose the one that works best for you. When it comes to picking colors for Indian weddings, vibrant and colorful is always the way to go. “If you’ve never been to an Indian wedding, my biggest tip is to wear color. Indian weddings are full of life, joy, and celebration, and it’s definitely not the time to show up in all black,” adds Emily Reno, owner of The Vegas Planners. “Whether you choose to wear traditional attire like a sari, or lehenga, or stick to your own style, embrace vibrant colors and bold patterns, because the brighter and more festive your outfit, the better you’ll blend in with the energy of the day.”
What Not To Wear To An Indian Wedding
Additionally, there are a few things to keep in mind while selecting your outfits for an Indian wedding. “A general guideline should be to cover shoulders and knees, especially for religious ceremonies. Also, no black or white colors because they are unlucky for wedding days,” declares Nicole Chan, photographer at Nicole Chan Photo & Video.
Moreover, as Indian wedding events are typically long, ensure that you’re comfortable in the outfit and footwear you choose. “Dress to impress, but make sure you’re comfortable at the same time! I see a lot of non-Indian guests who, obviously excited by the prospect of dressing up in Indian attire, have bought clothes specially for the occasion. Since this is the first time a lot of these people are donning Indian traditional wear, they underestimate how rigid and restricting some of these clothes can be,” mentions Zorawar Shukla, co-founder and CEO of Desi Beat Collective. “Indian weddings are often long days without breaks for outfit changes, so make sure what you're wearing is something you’ll be happy to be in for 8-12 hours.”
Arrive On Time And Follow The Schedule
If you’re attending an Indian wedding in the United States, always be on time and follow the schedule closely. “It is important to arrive on time when attending an Indian wedding. Not only is it courteous, but punctuality can often signify deep respect for the couple. Indian weddings also often span multiple days and include many wedding rituals that follow a tight schedule,” says Kristen Gosselin, founder and creative director at KG Events & Design. “When you arrive on time, you help ensure that each event unfolds smoothly.”
That being said, if you’re attending an Indian wedding in India, be prepared for delays. Events usually begin much later than the time listed on the invite. It’s best to check with the couple beforehand regarding the actual start times of events.
Participate In The Revelry And Always Be Respectful
Indians love to get everyone involved in their wedding festivities. So don’t feel shy and join in on all the fun.
“If you aren’t Indian, the best way to honor the traditions is to participate when invited and observe respectfully when not. For example, during the baraat (a lively procession before the wedding ceremony), guests are expected to dance and celebrate alongside the family, so don’t hang back like you’re at a parade, but join the revelry,” says Amos Gott, chief event architect of Amos Events. “At the ceremony, remain attentive while rituals unfold, even if you don’t understand every detail, because your presence and enthusiasm are what make you part of the celebration rather than standing out as an outsider.”
What To Gift An Indian Couple
Like non-Indian couples, Indian couples, too, often have a wedding registry. If the couple doesn't have a wedding registry, it’s best to check with them directly.
If you are gifting money, there are a few etiquette tips to follow:
“Cash gifts given at an Indian wedding should always be presented in a decorative envelope or small silver box and should only be given in odd amounts, never even,” mentions Liney Castle, wedding planner at Twickenham House and Hall. “Cash gifts should be given to parents or elders, not the couple. It is customary to clearly write your name on the envelope as well.”
Let Your Hair Down And Have Fun
Lastly, don’t forget to have fun! While you keep all these tips in mind, don’t miss soaking in the ambiance and revelry of the Indian wedding celebrations. At the end of the day, Indian couples and families are happiest when all their guests are comfortable and are enjoying themselves to the fullest.
Cover photo from Swati and Katherine's Modern Indian Wedding, captured by Sherman Chu Photography
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