On a recent episode of ‘The Graham Norton Show,’ Taylor Swift joked that her wedding celebrations are going to be big! If you’re planning on going the same route, but still want your wedding to feel intimate, here are some expert-approved tips for a personal touch.
We’ve all been to those large wedding celebrations where you feel like you’re attending a commercial event, and only if we’re lucky will you get a moment with the couple.
If you’re planning a wedding on a grand scale, like the one Taylor Swift joked about, but still want it to feel personal and connected, read on. We consulted wedding planners and experts on the best ways to make a wedding with a large guest count feel intimate. Here’s their best advice.
Maximize Face Time: A Pre-Wedding Welcome Event
With a big guest list, it can be tough for the couple to connect with everyone on the wedding day. Experts advise hosting a pre-wedding welcome party where you and your partner can spend time with each guest.
“A pre-wedding welcome event is a great way to make a large wedding feel more intimate. Guests really value time with the couple, and it’s a great way to spend extra quality time connecting with your cherished guests,” says Haley Day, owner of Haley Day Photography.
“I think we will see not just a wedding weekend from Taylor, but a multi-day event focused on time with all of their loved ones.”
Crafting Relaxed Lounges or Chill Spots
Another way to make a large wedding celebration feel smaller is by creating lounge-type spaces for guests to relax in.
“Large weddings can sometimes feel impersonal, but with intentional planning, they can still feel warm, connected, and deeply personal. One idea is creating chill spots, as not all guests want to be on the dance floor all night,” says Sammy Santana, catering manager at Omni Rancho Las Palmas Resort & Spa. “Offer relaxed lounge areas—even something as simple as a seating area with comfy chairs and a fire pit—where guests can hang out, chat, and still feel part of the celebration.”
Experts recommend choosing a venue with separate areas, instead of a large ballroom. You could plan different vignettes or experiences within the larger event that allow guests to bond with one another. “Pockets of nature, smaller parlor rooms, and even cascading landings can make a larger wedding feel intimate as people group together in connected spaces in part of a whole,” adds Jen Sulak, lead photographer of Weirdo Weddings Photography. “Make it a ‘great escape room’ where you have setups of multi-functional spaces everyone can enjoy together, and encourage intimate conversation.”
Request Guests to Contribute to a Cherished Keepsake
Allowing guests to contribute to a keepsake is a great way to have them feel included and leave you with a beloved token.
“Asking your guests to participate in a personalized idea is a great way to have them feel included, contribute, but also provides a physical takeaway or keepsake for the couple,” says Jenn Symula, owner and photographer of Symula Media Group. “One idea is asking your guests to write their marital advice on a quilt square, sewing it together to create one large quilt blanket, that you can then look back on and read.”
Elevate the Details: Personal Touches and Surprise Elements
One of the best ways to make a large wedding more intimate is by customizing the small details. You could incorporate surprise, bespoke elements throughout the wedding day to make guests feel special.
“Think handwritten notes tucked into custom welcome gifts, or family-style dining that encourages conversation between guests,” remarks Neha Varma, CEO of Amora Events. “Layer in elements that surprise guests. A cocktail named after a meaningful moment, a late-night food station inspired by your favorite childhood treat, or an unannounced performance by a close friend. When every detail is intentional and reflects who you are, even a 500-person wedding can feel like an evening among your closest friends.”
Master the Layout: The Art of Intentional Seating
Experts advise incorporating a few smaller guest tables for a cozier feel and thoughtfully curating the seating chart.
“Couples can create an intimate atmosphere at a big wedding by using smaller tables for dining. While large, round tables are typically the most space-efficient, thoughtfully laid-out floor plans, with smaller rectangular, elliptical, or square tables can create a more intimate setting over a shared meal,” states Rachel Ceaser, owner and lead planner at Savoir Fête.
Furthermore, wedding planners suggest against simply seating pre-existing groups together and instead look for common ground. “It is easy to sleepwalk through this task, and simply seat existing cliques and families together,” adds Janice Carnevale, owner of Bellwether Events. “But instead, you could look carefully at your guest list and intentionally gather people together who you think have commonalities and whose lives would be improved if they knew the others.”
Use A Range of Different Floral Arrangements and Décor Elements
To make the expansive décor feel fresh and engaging, wedding experts recommend using a diverse range of designs instead of repeating the same look.
“The bigger the wedding, the more I want to make sure the floral experience offers moments of intimacy, spaces where guests can engage with the flowers without feeling like they’ve already seen it all. A specific table design really shouldn’t be repeated more than ten times, and ideally more like eight,” declares Catherine Malone, design director at Tourterelle Floral Design. “Making sure to use a range of different flowers and designs within the color and flower specifications is a good way to make sure that guests are continuously able to engage with original decor that achieves an intimate experience by being cohesive but not predictable.”
Unite the Crowd: Shared Rituals and Storytelling
Another option is to honor your guests by incorporating their own stories or love into the festivities, such as weaving in the first dance songs of married couples.
“At a recent wedding, the couple asked their married friends and family to share the first dance song from their wedding,” mentions Stephanie Lai, assistant director of special events at Four Seasons Resort Maui. “Our team assisted with having these songs woven into the dinner reception playlist. As each song played, smiles and joyful memories filled the evening, a beautiful reminder of love stories shared over the years!”
Crafting moments where guests actively participate or share in a memory could also make the large group feel unified and closely connected to the couple. “A ring warming ritual makes any size wedding feel intimate because each guest gets to participate by holding the couple’s rings,” adds Maureen Cotton, an interspiritual reverend and ceremony officiant at The Soulful Wedding. “It’s simple: pass the rings in a secure dish or box around to the guests with some guidance on imbuing a blessing, prayer, or simply a good wish into them. I’ve done this with as many as 200 guests!”
Share Your Unique Love Story
Lastly, allowing your guests to be drawn into the details of your relationship transforms the gathering into an intimate circle focused on your connection.
“A large wedding can have a very personal and intimate feel by having the emcee narrate the different chapters of the wedding day love story,” concludes Geoffrey Sandler, owner of Celebrations Entertainment. “While there are so many ways to do this, my biggest tip is to gather all the wedding guests around the dance floor to have an immersive and personalized experience during the wedding couple's first dance.”
Cover photo by Fabian Alvarez Photo from Nicki and Emily's Cartagena Wedding
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