Surround yourself in love and support with the help of Stand In Pride.
“I’m your mom now.” Scroll through social media, and you’ll find responses like this on posts from LGBTQ+ youth and adults sharing stories about missing family support. Add planning a wedding into the mix, and the absence of supportive loved ones can become magnified — especially when you bring in the topic of guests lists and the ever-present traditions of first dances with parents and being walked down the aisle.
That’s where Stand In Pride comes in. It all began with a TikTok video posted by Daniel Blevins, a stylist and salon owner who lives in Tennessee with his husband of 35 years.
“I was inspired to make [the video] by Sara Cunningham, who is the founder of Free Mom Hugs,” shares Blevins. “She had gone viral on Facebook for making a post saying, ‘If your mom won’t show up at your wedding, I will.’ So I was like, I want to do that as a dad.”
Blevins, father of two adult children, had walked his daughter down the aisle. His TikTok offering to do the same for others was met with numerous responses from other people volunteering to be stand-in support.
“I was [also] getting comments from people saying, ‘I’m not getting married but I would love to have a father figure or a mother figure in my life,’” recounts Blevins. “So I started exploring ways that I could help these people find each other.”
His idea led to the creation of Stand In Pride Facebook groups, which allowed interested parties to connect with one another. The success on Facebook (it grew to 300,000 members across 26 regional groups) led Blevins to create the Stand In Pride app, available on Android and iOS.
“A lot of people in the queer community don’t feel safe being on Facebook with the current climate,” explains Blevins. “So we launched our app [in October 2024], and those Facebook groups were shut down.”
The app connects LGBTQ+ users and allies at a regional level, though you’ll find the app often using the term accomplice. Explaining that allowing allies into the LGBTQ+ spaces can be overwhelming at times, new users are offered a quiz to take asking, “How well do you know the community as an accomplice?” designed to “help you better understand the community without disrupting queer conversations.”
“Accomplice, to me, means much more than lip service saying, ‘Oh I support you,’” explains Blevins. “It means ‘I’m going to stand with you.’ Too many allies feel like that’s all they have to do is just say it.”
Putting support behind your words is a focus for Stand In Pride — and not solely for accomplices. Blevins himself has been a part of a few weddings in both stand-in and licensed officiant capacities.
“I was scrolling TikTok one night, and, you know how phones listen to our convos,” shares Kesha (she/they), who was in the midst of planning a wedding with their now-wife. “I was talking about my dad being deceased and my mom not being supportive of the LGBTQ+ community and all of a sudden, one of Daniel’s videos popped up of him speaking about being a stand-in parent. After about a week of talking it over, I sent him a DM on TikTok, and then we connected on Facebook and had a couple of conversations. I asked him to ‘dance’ me down the aisle. He told me he would be honored to.”
At the wedding, Blevins was smudged with sage, a spiritual practice in Kesha’s Native American heritage of cleansing and bringing positive energy. He danced her down the aisle alongside Marlana Hansen, her stand-in mom and owner of Linda’s Lane, the Tennessee wedding venue where Kesha married her wife, Bernadette (Bernie).
Kesha wasn’t the only one whose wedding has been met with support from the Stand In Pride community. Other soonlyweds have reached out looking for stand-ins for their own weddings. United Kingdom couple Nicole Jayne (she/her) and Laura (she/they) posted in the app looking for a witness for their upcoming wedding in New York City.
“The responses have been supportive and helpful and have resulted in us potentially having a number of witnesses for our wedding, where we previously had none,” Nicola Jayne shares. “It has made the prospect of getting married abroad all the more exciting as it puts our minds at ease, especially during uncertain political times.”
Beyond being a resource for in-person events, Stand In Pride is built to foster community. The app connects users not only at a local level (you set the distance) but also allows you to interact with people from all across the world who share similar interests.
“All you have to do is get on the app adn comment on people’s posts,” explains Blevins. “They’re looking for support. A lot of people have really enjoyed making friends and allies and members of the community and just connecting virtually.”
Blevins has a few favorite stories of Stand In Pride members coming together, including a young trans man who was headed to their first job interview and needed help tying a tie. “All of these dads were like, “I can show you,” recounts Blevins. “And he was able to connect with a dad on FaceTime and learn how to tie a tie.”
Members have sought help re-creating nostalgic recipes their moms used to make them, moms have come together to help with college applications, and users have offered binders to anyone who might need them. Scroll through the app and you’ll find kind words, listening ears, and people ready to stand in and support however they can.
“Truly make sure whoever you are asking to be your stand-in, that you’re comfortable with them,” advises Kesha. “There are hundreds of thousands of strangers out there, ready to love you for you are, without judgement.”
Stand-In Pride is a 501(c)3 nonprofit dedicated to connecting members of the LGBTQ+ community with a chosen family, friends, and support. Learn more, download the app, or donate to standinpride.org.
Written by Emily Rochotte | Photography courtesy of Stand In Pride
This article originally appeared in our V10 print issue. To read more, purchase your copy here.
